Rape Symptoms: part one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3uMgcRUYBs

Mental health responses to being falsely accused of rape or sexual assault.

Abuse of children and adults whether sexual, physical or emotional is abhorrent. However not all allegations are true, false allegations may be made for many reasons and are not always malicious. Wrongful allegations have a devastating effect. The accused and their families can lose reputations, careers, health and freedom. When an allegation of abuse is made there is always a victim, either the complainant or the accused.

Guilt, Self-Blame, Loss of Self-Esteem

Just as society and the legal system tends to hold the accused responsible for their situation, those who are falsely accused are not immune from this tendency. Just as society and the legal system make the mistake of looking to your behaviour for causes of the allegation (often referred to as “blaming the victim”) – so do you. By focusing blame on the victim, society and the legal system absolves itself from responsibility and individuals can feel safe – by setting themselves apart from you, the victim (e.g., “I would never do what that person did; I would never put myself in that situation, so I will never be falsely accused.”). Victims might have an especially pronounced interest in focusing blame within their own behaviour, because if they can figure out what they did to “cause the false allegation” they might believe that they can avoid future situations.

By blaming yourself, your trauma is worsened, and the spiral of symptoms may continue to escalate.

Nightmares, Flashbacks, Sleep and Appetite Disturbances, Difficulty Concentrating.

Lack of sleep and concentration can affect your work / school / family performance, and therefore long-term economic and relational security, as well as your health and safety.

With respect to sleep and appetite, victims can exhibit these disturbances either by over-eating and over-sleeping or under-eating and under-sleeping. I had difficulty sleeping. I became subject to uncontrollable bouts of crying and physical weakness. My legs would give way and I would have to sit down or collapse into a heap because of reliving the memory of all the negativity that had happened to me in court, in my church community and at home.

Professional Carers

Professional carers must keep in mind that the many disruptions in the physical and emotional life of those falsely accused of sexual assault will affect not only their health and economic security, but also their ability to actively participate in risk assessments or anything that re-enacts the original trauma. Even victims who want to participate in risk assessments often find it difficult to do so when their physical and emotional reality has become so disrupted. Professional carers must understand this and also document your description of physical and emotional symptoms. In the event of any request for an Impact Report of the trauma, these can be used to support your impact report.

Constant Reliving of the Trauma

You will often have intrusive memories of the original investigative, publicity and court trauma - and remember that this was not a one-off event, like a rape that happened once in the past - but it has become an ever-present, long-drawn-out and inexorable experience of torture over months or years. These memories will be difficult to control and will disrupt your daily life. They are not only intrusive, personality-destroying and unwelcome, but they are also often accompanied by the feelings of terror, shame and exclusion originally experienced during the original trauma. These experiences may be exacerbated if your false accuser is someone you see regularly at school, work, church or home. I tried to get on with my day-to-day church and social life and plans in a spirit of forgiveness, but that included my accuser occasionally being around. Because of the sexual nature of the false allegation, church attendance was particularly difficult since she was also a member and I was a prominent preacher. It made me so sick to have her around and watch her laughing and joking and socialising as though nothing had happened that I realised I wouldn't be able to keep the same friends and avoid her. The judgemental attitude of the church authorities towards me did not help, so I stopped attending the place where I had worshipped for 20 years and so lost many friends, most of my social life and the precious community projects that I had worked on and founded. I have become withdrawn, embittered and alienated.

Shame, Internalised Sense of Damage.

Falsely accused people may internalise societal beliefs about sexual assault. One of these is the notion that it causes the accused to become “damaged goods.” Such as a respected clergyman or teacher or social worker, policeman or doctor to have to live with the suspicion that ‘there is no smoke without fire’ and ‘mud sticks’. Many of these societal beliefs focus blame on the accused rather than the false accuser, so it should not be surprising that many victims feel a sense of shame, guilt, and/or self-blame. It is rare for such a liar or fantasists to be brought before the court to be tried for their crime. Society's reaction may be fuelled by a concern about how family, friends, and/or romantic partners will view the victim after the false allegation, arrest and trial - even though proven innocent. Similarly, they may fear colleagues and other members of the church / club / school or medical profession finding out if you have to take time off from work to recover or participate in the justice system. You may also fear the possibility of media coverage of the allegation /trial and are deeply concerned about others finding out about what happened to you.

Shock, Disbelief, Helplessness, Powerlessness, Loss of Control.

I was terrified. I didn’t know if this was going to kill me. It engulfed my whole physical being so I couldn't breathe. I felt stupid for visiting her house, even though It was my job as a pastoral carer to visit her. I was sure I did something to deserve it or bring it on. The experience of shock and disbelief was like those people who have experienced war or natural disasters. People falsely accused of this vile crime also have a very difficult time making sense of what his happening. This contributes to the sense of shock, disbelief, helplessness, powerlessness, and loss of control that are so often seen among sexual assault victims. This is because being falsely accused of rape or sexual assault is similar in its effects to rape itself. It is a rape. But of course unlike rape victims, you have no 'first responders', 'victim advocates' or support service providers in the community. Your trauma is not recognised by the caring professions. People are more likely to say, 'There's no smoke without fire.'

You may continue to suffer in silence, believing you are alone and that this is a unique experience. You want as few people to know about it as possible, because of the shame and public attitudes to those accused of sexual crime. Some who are falsely accused do not even realise a crime is being committed against them. But even those who do will also respond by suffering alone, knowing that no-one will understand or be sympathetic. You still do not believe this could be happening to you.

Extreme Fear, Hypervigilance.

As well as the generalised anxiety that would be expected as a result of being falsely accused of sexual crime, there may also be very specific fears. You may be re-victimised. You may be retaliated against - many have had death threats levelled against them, and others have had their homes graffitied or even set on fire. Some have killed themselves because of the shame or because they lack the ability to continue living with the extreme stress. Disclosing your situation may result in you being being hurt physically, socially, or economically. These fears should be taken seriously, both because they can be debilitating for you but also because they are grounded in reality. They are not a fantasy. Keeping in mind that the vast majority of false allegations are made by someone that the victim knows, these people will often remain in your life and are connected to your stability. Steps need to be taken to ensure your actual physical safety as well as your feeling of security. Caring professionals (in my case my diocese) can - or ought to - help you with safety planning.

Outbursts of Anger, Irritability.

Professional carers and in my case diocesan bishops must handle this situation calmly, without taking the anger personally or responding in kind. (Or by blaming the victim and further abusing them by accusing them of being aggressive!). The expression of anger can be very frightening for some, but ought not to be for those in professional caring.

I’ve been feeling so angry at the people in power in my organisation, whose carefully-managed public image is one of caring, understanding, good deeds, forgiveness and loving-kindness. But who have treated me with blame, rejection, a complete lack of support - withholding even a single pastoral visit to see how I and my family are coping - or even whether we are coping at all. One bishop has directly accused me of being aggressive when I went to her for justice. On the contrary, it is best for those who hold the gateways to professional care to exhibit a calm, compassionate, and professional demeanour, to de-escalate the situation and pursue healing for the abused individual. To date in my experience this has been too much to expect from the diocese or the Church of England as a whole.

In an exceptionally frank interview, Prince Harry revealed years of pain managing his life and mental health, disclosing that he has needed therapy to come to terms with it. He confessed to years of attacks of panic and rage, saying that his life had been in "total chaos" for two years.

Anger is also a classic and perfectly natural response of those who have been sexually abused, raped, or falsely accused of sexual crime. I know that being a prince or a clergyman in holy orders does not exempt you from experiencing this anger.

Here is this woman, roaming the streets completely free, without being taken to court, and charged with the vile crime of making a false statement, while I and my family, her victims are going through a daily and nightly private hell. Nobody knows how awful this is. Added to which, her supporters and groomers remain in the community unrepentant and remaining aloof and distant from me, increasing my experience of alienation, shame, bitterness and isolation. There is no opportunity for me to explain. They don't seem to want to know...

Depression, Suicidal Thoughts and Actions.

It is believed that approximately 1 in 3 female sexual assault victims experience depression. 1 in 3 female sexual assault victims contemplate suicide, and 1 in 8 actually attempt it. These figures are much higher than for women who are not crime victims. Whether male or female, victims or actual sexual assault or victims of false accusers, these figures suggest that any mention of suicidal thoughts or actions taken by a sexual assault victim should be considered very seriously and addressed immediately.

Victim Impact: How Victims Are Affected by Sexual Assault

I started having great difficulty with guilt, self-blame, intrusive thoughts, nightmares, urges to commit suicide, depression, and anxiety. My gut was in permanent turmoil. I was having great difficulty thinking how I could meet my church commitments. I need not have worried. The horrific assault allegation and legal process to which I was subjected culminated immediately in my summary discharge from religious duties. The archdeacon came and demanded my licence to officiate as a priest and the supervisor of the Methodist Circuit demanded the same. Both formerly friends and respected colleagues. Essentially, I changed in a single 24 hours from being the confident, respected and loved founder and MD of the local food bank and honoured, recognised and regarded Methodist and Anglican clergyman to a rejected person, stripped socially naked, tarred and feathered; a gibbering idiot diagnosed with PTSD who suffers constant intrusive thoughts, suicidal feelings, and depression. All classic symptoms of physically raped victims.

Physical Symptoms, Pain, Fatigue, Muscle Tension, Gynaecological / Impotence Problems.

In addition to the obvious injuries resulting from violent physical assault, victims often experience more general negative effects on their physical well being in the aftermath of sexual abuse It is well-known that physical health mirrors emotional health; human beings are not divided into physical v. mental components, and it is not surprising that sexual assault victims report fatigue, muscle tension, sexual impotence, disturbed bowels, inability to sleep, rest or take exercise and other physical symptoms resulting from their trauma.

Self-destructive Behaviour.

Feeling unable to do anything to change the situation victims of false allegations may respond by turning to alcohol or other drugs. This can impact many other aspects of your life, including your health, work or education, and access to certain benefits or housing programs. In fact, the allegation and surrounding publicity and reluctance of social services to take a risk may have made you homeless and without access to your partner and / or children. You may take up smoking, or smoke to excess, look for relief or oblivion in alcohol. You may increase risky sexual activity and numbers of sexual partners, and stop using protection. These are behaviours that can result in costly and life-altering pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections. They are ways of responding to false allegation of sexual abuse that can expose you to the risk of further harm, and create irredeemable disruption in the your life, economic security, and social support system, when family members, friends, and other support people respond negatively. From being the solution to other people's difficulties, you can become the problem itself.